Sunday, February 9, 2014

Glacier 2: First Impressions

Ever hear of this game? I certainly didn't. Not until I stumbled across it on the website of the local library. I figured it was worth a shot to play it and see what was up. What I found was a (If you can possibly believe it) A more bugged-out version of Vigilante 8. I've so far not been able to figure out if there was ever a Glacier 1. Amazon has listings for Glacier 2 and Glacier 3, but the closest I can find is something by a completely different publisher and developer. The strange thing is that I can't even find a Wikipedia page for any of the games I just mentioned, so I had to get the cover image from Amazon. Speaking of Amazon, I can't believe that someone is trying to charge 20 bucks for Colonial Marines. Back on topic: The controls suck. This game was released in 2009, after.... Okay, I'm not gonna list off ALL the racing games that are better than this, but I'm gonna say that it was released after Mario Kart Wii and Need for Speed Undercover. Yeah. Okay, time to explain the controls for those of you who don't subscribe to my YouTube Channel. There is no nunchuk support. And if that blew your mind, then hold on to your seats, because it doesn't have GameCube or Classic Controller support either. Yeah, the only way you can play is with the Wii remote held sideways. I don't know about you, but I don't have a Wii wheel and even if I did have one it wouldn't make the controls any less fidgety. Now, controlling the racing with the Wiimote sideways should mean that the D-pad is used for selecting stuff in menus right? Well yes, but you've got to shift the Wii remote in your hand to use the pointer to select the things the game doesn't let the D-pad do. Just to lump that into one sentence: Without the Wii Wheel you can barely drive, with the Wii Wheel, you can barely use the menus. Now, the tree graphics suck. The graphics in general are sub-par, but the trees look like they were made for an early PSX or N64 game. I've seen better looking games than this, or at least more consistent-looking games than this on almost every console ever made ever, even ones weaker than the Wii. In order to unlock new levels you must complete the level before the one you want to unlock on the difficulty that the locked level says under the lock. Personally I unlocked three levels in the 30 so minutes I played the game and by god was that annoying to do. It's kind of hard to review a game like this, because on the one hand if it'd been polished a bit more it would have been fine but on the other hand that's no excuse for a game being this broken. As in Vigilante 8, there are environmental obstacles. And just like in Vigilante 8, they're practically impossible to avoid. Because the power-ups respawn you can just stay by the machine-gun ammo, boost-fuel and missiles and then shift into turbo at several hundred miles per hour after you're all filled up, spraying your opponents with lead, out-running them with almost infinite hyperdrive powers and blowing them to shreds with rockets, which means that the first two courses are easy as a puzzle in Doctor Who: Evacuation Earth. After that they add in trees. Unfortunately these trees have been imported from Liberty City, San Andreas and Vice City up to the alps, so they stay rooted in place if you hit one. This is extremely problematic if you lose control, and as it is extremely easy to do so in this game, it becomes rather frustrating. I finally stopped playing when I fell off the track and I could neither reverse out of the hole, nor would the game spawn me back on the track. I could go on about how the camera is annoying and about how it seems to have taken most of its ideas and levels from other, better racing games, but I'd like to forget this game as soon as possible. All in all, I'd say that the game is about a 2.34*, and that it's not worth renting, buying, borrowing, or even getting for free. I wouldn't turn it down if someone were to give it to me free because Dragon Ball Z Budokai T2 needs a Wii case. I'll see you guys next week.